Holly was too late
by Megaslut69
Summary: Holly admits to Foaly she loves Artemis, but he already has a girlfriend. But no ordianry one, this is as Mary Sue as it gets. Rated T for some suggestivity.


**HOLLY WAS TOO LATE**

Disclaimer: I don't own Artemis.

8 months after Opal Koboi's being locked up, and 2 months following the second ever fairy execution, Holly Short was sitting board in her office, wishing that she never chose to have this office job. She sighed and filled out some paperwork, as criminals were scarcer now, and the young officers got to go to the surface anyways. Her much bigger paycheck was of no comfort.

Suddenly, Foaly came in. They greeted each other. Foaly sympathized over Holly's distress and then said, "Hmmmmm, what's this?" He picked up a photograph on Holly's disc of Artemis, with hearts drawn around the frame. Also, a piece of paper was attached, saying Mrs. Holly Fowl. "What is bloody blazes is this," Foaly inquired. "You don't…have a crush on Artemis, do you?" "No, I most certainly do not," was the reply.

"Then what does Mrs. Holly Fowl mean."

"Okay, maybe I like him a little."

"_Mrs. Holly Fowl?"_

"Okay, maybe I like him a lot."

"That's better. So, go tell him."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"He has a girlfriend." Foaly's jaw dropped to the floor. "Artemis Fowl has a _girlfriend?_" he asked in utter astonishment. Holly replied: "And not just any girlfriend. Her name is Candice Angelino Titania Licking, but people call her the simpler name 'Candy Licking.'" "Oh, my," Foaly replied.

Holly pulled out a photo of Artemis and Candy. Artemis was wearing, of course, a black, two-piece, Armani designer suit, and thousand dollar shoes and tie. But Candy was dressed quite differently. Her long brown hair came down her back, and her brown eyes were brilliant She had her arms thrown around Artemis and she squished her bare chest and breasts into his chest, so no one could see them. She was wearing the most skimpy bottom they had ever seen, too. It only wrapped around one leg, leaving the buttocks and crack completely exposed, save for a millimeter-thick string around the middle. It curved through the perineum and the surface area on the front could not have been more than four square centimeters, on which was the Irish flag, the string part of the article just being green. Artemis had his arms around her rear and the two were making out on the beach, both smiling.

"There are more pictures yet," said Holly. Two of each of them. The Artemis ones were obvious, in his dark suit, one from the front and one from the back. But Candy's were more. In the back one, she was completely naked, but stretched her arm over her crack to cover it. The front one she was also naked, but her long dark hair covered her breasts, and she covered her…front part…with her hands. She was smiling. "Holy cow," said Foaly.

Now Holly told Foaly some backs about her: "She is two months younger than Artemis and was extremely un-clever, so Artemis could help her with her subjects in school. She came from Spain, but moved to Ireland so their family could be closer to her aging grandparents, and one great-grandparent. Also, the water is fresher." Foaly nodded, Holly continued: "She does speak fluent English and Spanish though, and is involved in beach volleyball, swimming and figure skating. She is 5'3" tall and weighs just 104 pounds. Her bust size, however, is 60, without any implants. She also sings, dances and glamour models." "Holy buckets," commented Foaly. "It's not over yet," said Holly, "Her father, Markus Willard Rudy Licking IV, is an incredible centi-millionaire, worth $262,000,000, due to owning Metacomputers, Inc. Her mother died when Candy was just two years old, however. And that's that."

Foaly was incredulous. "That is some Mud Girl," he said.

Holly sighed, "I'll never get Artemis with Candy winning his heart." "Oh, don't worry," said Foaly, "I'll help you win his heart." "Really?" Holly perked up. "Of course, what are friends for" replied Foaly.

They left as Foaly devised his scheme.

EPILOUGE: On their way to the surface to put Foaly's scheme into effect, Holly ran over a satellite repairfairy. For both of them, it was love at first sight, and Holly forget all about Artemis. Foaly was bewildered because scientifically speaking, love at first sight is an impossible phenomena. He discarded his plan and went to work on a new invention.

SECONDARY EPILOUGE: Artemis and Candy lived happily ever after.

THE END.


End file.
